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Sincerely, Anonymous 2/4/21


Sincerely, Anonymous is an anonymous, submission-based publication promoting the ability to heal through unnamed works of literature. By removing names, a pressure and judgement free environment is created for anyone who wishes to express their emotions in a creative and safe manner. To contribute to this publication, visit https://www.hannahkothari.com/sincerely-anonymous.



Enjoy!



thoughts


today i thought about you

like i have been thinking about you for the past 3 years

and i know i’ll think about you tomorrow

and in 3 months i will be thinking of you

there are times where you don’t cross my my mind though

i call those the peace days

they are rare

but when they come

my heart and mind feel calm for once

because you aren’t here to poison them

but secretly, i miss the constant thought of you.


- sincerely, anonymous

 

how you broke her


you have no idea what you did to her. you have no idea how long i have to sit here, watching her fall into the depths of her own thoughts. she’s breaking at every seam. she can’t even look at her own reflection because of you. she collapses in my arms on a daily basis, breaking at one small thought of you. you meant the world to her. and now you’re gone as fast as the seasons change. you confided in yourself and didn’t realize the hurt you caused her. as soon as you got what you wanted, you packed up your things and left. you left without a word. a fight. you didn’t show any effort. and i think that’s what broke her. because all she can think about is you. and how she messed you up. how she wasn’t good enough. how she didn’t do what you wanted. when in reality, you were only waiting to break her. that was your end goal. there was no love, compassion, or effort in the end. i could see that. she could see that. you just wanted to see how long this game could last. and now that it’s over, she’s trapped. she thought the game would last forever. even with the pain you caused during it, she only kept playing because it meant that she could be with you. but now she has to start all over again. she has to forget the conversations, the calls, the dates, the arguments. she has to forget your eyes, your laugh, your smile, your words. she has to forget the version of you she met so long ago. the version of you that she fell in love with. because that version of you doesn’t exist. she never fell in love with the monster you became, she was just stuck wanting back the person you were. and now that she doesn’t have you, she can only remember the memories of who you once were. you thought she had no one right? well you were wrong. she has me. and i’m never gonna leave.


- sincerely, anonymous

 

Learned Helplessness


Learned helplessness is when you feel like the world is designed to destroy you. From the outside, you look okay; you look familiar. But on the inside, it feels like your depressive instincts are crawling up your skin, pulling you down deeper into the floor. I made mistakes, self-destructive mistakes that messed with my head, and I got used to feeling hopeless. Learned helplessness is more common than you might think. That baseline of feeling terrible all the time is one of the main underlying symptoms and causes of terminal depression.


When you feel sad or have possibly experienced depression at some point in your life, that feeling is indescribable. So, when I came across this word in my psychology class at school, I thought this is it. Learned helplessness is the word for that feeling- I have become so used to my self-destruction baseline, thinking that I am not good enough described in two terms. Learned helplessness is a type of behavioral psychology. It tells when a person forces unpleasant stimuli because they have learned the baseline of not controlling anything.


Martin Seligman first developed this theory by investigating dogs in a cage with a partially electrified floor. Of course, this experiment's variables would seem highly unethical today, but it gave Martin a subject of that underlying base for depression. He put a dog in a cage, shocked one part of the cage with a barrier to another part of the cell that was not shocked. All the dog had to do was jump over the fence to stop the shock of its paws. But some dogs did not understand. It got to the point where the dog would just lay down and tolerate it until somebody released it from the cage. That is what people with learned helplessness experienced hypothetically. There is an opportunity with hope facing them, but they do not know how to get there. They are used to the painful baseline that they are on and do not know any better.


Seligman, along with Abramson and Teasdale, came with four possible resolutions to their hypothesis. The first being to change the likelihood of the outcome, therefore decreasing the possibility of adverse events. The second being to reduce the desire for the result you want. Next, figure out what you can control and what you cannot control. Fourth, change unrealistic explanations for failure toward those that are external. So, in conclusion, most of life is out of your control. That is okay.


It is hard to unlearn something you are used to it. To get over a habit, you have to practice it every day. So, surround yourself with hobbies and friends that provide meaning to your life. Don't be stuck on the shocking side of the box; find the hurdle, jump over, and continue to move and learn happiness.


- Sincerely, Anonymous

 

gone


you're gone

nothing but a distant memory

there's nothing i could've done

and now i'm in misery


i miss your beautiful brown eyes

as smooth as honey

i long for the highs

but it's no longer sunny


a dark gray cloud rushes over me

i love you dearly

but you had to flee

and leave me teary


you're gone.

and all i can do is sit here

sit here waiting for your attention,

remembering how you disappeared.


- sincerely, anonymous


 

If you are interested in submitting a piece to Sincerely, Anonymous, feel free to visit the link below for more information. This week’s optional prompt: mental health. Make sure to include a title!



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